Key message – you can make an enormous amount of changes in your life in 12 weeks. If you want to create change, you need to identify what it is in your thinking, what it is in your behaviour, that you need to change. It’s time to take ownership of the state of your life and identify the new habits that are needed to create lasting change. The structure of our lives is mainly a reflection of the choices we have made.
The good news is that you can begin to make new choices. A few refinements here and there can make all the difference in the quality of life that you can experience. Make strong decisions, make it happen, and live the best life possible. You deserve it! The people in your life deserve it too.
Wrap up on the Season – Transcript
Talia: Kathy McKenzie from FireUp coaching has been so gracious to be with us the entire season of Get A Life and of course Kathy is back again with us today.
We’ve spoken about so much from goals, to career, to health and well, we’ve spoken about everything.
Kathy: Lot of things, we had a lot of ground.
Talia: A lot of ground in just 12 weeks. So from everything we’ve spoken about, what are the major takeaways that we should really hold on to?
Kathy: That’s a great thing to consider and I must admit when I started doing the 12 weeks, I was thinking about, “What are the key messages to Get A Life?”
It’s interesting that you can actually make an enormous amount of change in your life in 12 weeks.
And from working with people over 20 years, there’s some patterns that don’t work. So I’m gonna start with actually what you need to stop thinking. And a lot of people think that something outside of them needs to change in order for their life to change, and that’s the first myth to completely dispel.
“If you want to create change, you need to start to think about what it is in your thinking, what it is in your behavior, what you need to value more.”
You need to actually make those choices yourself.
Talia: Yeah, it starts here, not… not out there – is that what you’re saying?
Kathy: No, and people think that “if my partner would just change” or “if my kids would just behave themselves” or all of those things or “if I lost a few kilos”… that if something externally is different that they’ll feel different. But when you can truly start to make the changes within in your thinking, that changes who you’re being and the way that you relate to yourself. And that’s probably one of the most important things.
Talia: That’s great. What are some of the other… I guess… “myths” you hear?
Kathy: One of the other things is that “I have no choice” that, “You’re lucky Talia… your life spanned out nicely and you’re doing…”
And often people blame other people for why they’re in the situation they’re in and that you know, “It’s easier for you”, “You’ve been lucky.” When the reality is that we all always have a choice and it’s up to us to choose what we can control.
A lot of the reason that people get frustrated and really feel resentful about their lives is because they’re paying attention to all of the things out there that they have no choice about when we actually can think about the things that we can control.
We can’t blame other people for where we’re at, everything’s exactly as it should be and even though that sometimes is a pretty hard thing to digest, we have to keep thinking about, “Okay, this is where I’m at.”
And if where you are at currently is not where you want to be, start to pay attention to:
“What do I want and how will I get there?”.
Talia: Yeah, what else?
Kathy: I think it’s something we’ve talked about a couple of times is that people think the grass is always greener on the other side.
Talia: That if the grass isn’t greener on the other side, “I swore it was!”
Kathy: No, no I hate to tell you and you know something you said about that too, “the grass is…?”
Talia: “The grass is greener where you water it.”
Kathy: And I loved it when you said that because it is about recognizing that when we compare ourselves to all those things out there, it can often leave us feeling quite helpless.
But the way to really feel worthy of where we are is to look at the effort and the actions that you can take to improve things in your paddock right now.
So you make that choice, think about what you wanna control and what you wanna influence and do something about it. Take the effort.
Change is not always easy and it’s not always comfortable, so you actually have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable that when change happens inside, it needs you to reorganize these neurons and your thinking and that mindset shift is often very difficult.
So you need to persist through that discomfort because the space beyond that is liberating and when you actually get to the space where you’re living your potential, it’s the most amazing feeling.